Loneliness - A Look

What is loneliness? Is it a feeling that you’re all alone despite having a million people surrounding you?

The dictionary defines loneliness as:

Noun
1. the state of being alone in solitary isolation
2. sadness resulting from being forsaken or abandoned
3. a disposition toward being alone

I think one of the most shocking things about being or feeling lonely is that you don’t really expect yourself to feel that way, at least not in the initial stages. It really comes across as a surprise.

Loneliness can possibly be classified into two types:

1. Where one is lonely as a result of not knowing anyone in a city or a place.
2. There are people you do know (at least kind of), yet you don’t really get along with them. It’s where you literally need to make an effort to just be with them because, honestly, that’s the only option you possibly have!
It’s almost synonymous to the quote, ‘Water, water, everywhere but not a drop to drink’.

The second type is obviously worse than the first one, because one may start to wonder if something’s wrong with oneself that one cannot get along with the others. At least in the first one, one cannot blame oneself for the situation! Often however, the first one is followed by the second one.

There may be people are all around you, only you don’t know them and maybe, don’t really want to. Does that mean that loneliness is choice? So many people and well, there is no one you can get along with? Does that mean that one has chosen to be lonely?? I doubt that anyone voluntarily wishes to be lonely-most of us definitely put in an effort to get along with those around us, especially if we are the ‘new’ ones. While part of the responsibility of forging a relationship does lie with us, an almost equal part lies with the opposite party. When there is a lack of effort/interest on either of the sides, it doesn’t work; as a result of which one half of the party has to face ‘being lonely’.

One of the most obvious causes for a lack of interest among the other half of the parties is of course Groupism. Every one wants to belong and so the minute they find a few others like themselves they breathe a sigh of relief. The relief is so much that not only do they forget that there are still others who are alone out there but they also choose not to give anyone else a fair chance for a fair friendship. The reasons to this maybe

- They are afraid that if they let anyone else in, that person may steal the spotlight or become more popular within the group and they themselves will be left out.
- They don’t wish to offend the others members of the group, in other words, peer pressure.
- They like the feeling of belonging and relish it even further when they see that there are others who are struggling. They find comfort in others misery.

It is also very much possible that one may just not get along with those around them. It simply means that one needs to wait and explore some more-till the right kind of company comes across.

In either of the cases, Loneliness is indeed a choice; however, it is not just a choice to be lonely, but it is a choice to preserve one’s pride and dignity against the world.
It is better, any day, to be alone and lonely, than be ridiculed or ignored.