So he claims he Loves me. He claims he wants to marry me. I brush him off. He is persistent. I don't take him seriously. How do I, without opening my heart to the possibility of possible bruises? It is too complicated. Our lives too distant, our relationship too complicated. It is too complicated.
It is not that I don't want to. It is just that I am not sure I can handle getting hurt again, or hurting some one else.
I want to say Yes, lets do this. I want to say Sweep me off my feet. But more than anything, in light of all that is against us, I want to say Fight. Fight for me.
But I am scared. I am scared that when I do, he won't.
I am scared. I am scared he will back out.
I am scared. I am scared of getting hurt.

"All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, and I promise you something great will come out of it", Benjamin Mee, We Bought A Zoo

Something I wrote ages ago.

A conversation with a friend today led me to digging into some of my old writing. I personally love the below piece of mine. It simply conveys how I felt for quite sometime.

We often look back and at times feel foolish for feeling a certain way and grow to regret it. However, whenever I read my below poem, I know that nothing could have changed the way I felt then. I had to go through it to get past it.

That's the beauty of writing. It documents moments and feelings. As we grow and our memories fade, we may not remember how certain events took place, how they played out, whether our actions were actually justified, etc etc.

That's why I love the below piece. It makes me realize how far I have come.

This is my heart

You broke it

You promised to be careful

You promised me forever

You promised to love it

I let my guard down

I led you into my fort

I gave you everything

You promised me forever

Whoever thought forever would be so short?

Promises are meant to be broken

And I should have known

But I was so lost

In your promises forever

In which I now stand alone

The memories are fresh

My love for you still strong

The pain is stronger

But you promised me forever

And the pain feels wrong

You and me

That’s how it was supposed to be

You said I was the one

You promised me forever

It’s still me, oh can’t you see?